


Witches Brew

by astraplain



Series: Kurtoberfest [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, pre-Kadam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8217850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: Be wary of rousing Santana’s wrath





	

“What?.... never mind.” Kurt dragged himself towards his bed, deliberately ignoring Rachel, Santana and Quinn. They were laughing and today he just couldn’t.

Stepping past the curtain that marked his private area - as if that meant anything with Santana around - Kurt dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes. It was only when he started to unfasten his pants that he had to turn his back to the bed. It didn’t stop the cold shiver of the too-recent memory of Cody but Kurt was used to managing, so he did.

Their computers had been replaced and Rachel’s fathers would be taking her shopping for a new television when they visited next weekend. In a few more weeks the empty spaces Cody left would be filled again with no trace that he’d ever been there.

Right, Kurt thought as he finished changing and dropped backwards - not face down - onto the bed. He’d laundered all his bedding several times, but the ghost of Cody lingered. 

No, he corrected himself. Not just Cody’s ghost. Blaine’s too. 

If I ever win the lottery, he decided, I’m buying new bedding and a new mattress.

He was exhausted, and hadn’t been sleeping well since… Well no, he couldn’t blame that one on Cody. 

A burst of laughter and the opening lines of "Don’t Stop Believing’“ had him reaching for the sleeping pills but before he could take one, his privacy curtain was pulled back and three very drunk women were dragging him from his bed.

"You gotta be here for this,” Santana insisted as the group came to a stop in front of the table. The punch bowl, half-full of an ominous deep-red liquid, sat near the table’s edge with empty bottles around.

“Did you buy the entire store?” Kurt was in no mood for whatever kind of mischief they had planned.

“Be grateful,” Santana snapped as she reached up and pulled several strands of hair out of Kurt’s head. She ignored his protests as she set them in an ashtray and used a lighter to set them on fire.

“Since when do we have an ashtray?” Kurt asked, much to the trio’s amusement.

“Since I found this in the college library.” Quinn picked up a timeworn book from the kitchen counter and held it up for Kurt to see.

“Practical Spells and Hexes?” Kurt studied the three of them before asking, “How much have you had to drink?”

“Two bottles of wine,” Quinn replied while Rachel held up three fingers behind Quinn’s back.

“O-kay,” Kurt took a step back, calculating his chances of slipping away once they went back to their… whatever they were doing.

“Not so fast, lover boy.” Santana wrapped her hand around his wrist and pulled him to her side. “We need you for the incantation.”

“Incantation?” Kurt looked at the three of them. “Should I ask what we’re spelling or hexing?”

“Hexing,” Santana stated, her mouth twisting into a frightening smile as she added, “Time your Sexy Santa got some payback.” She used tweezers to pick up a crumpled napkin decorated with chubby Santas and set it in the ashtray. “I saved this in case the cops wanted to work their CSI magic but they weren’t interested.”

“That’s when I told her about the book I’d seen in the library,” Quinn added, stepping closer with a strangely quiet Rachel at her side. Kurt was surprised either of them would even consider something like this. But, he mused, this wasn’t high school and they’d all learned not to take things for granted. (Well all of them but Rachel.) Besides, if he humored them, maybe they’d let him sleep.

“Want to do the honors?” Santana offered Kurt the lighter and he accepted. It was surprising how much he enjoyed watching something of Cody’s burn.

“Now what?” Kurt asked when the flame died and there was nothing but ashes left.

“I’ll say the incantation. You need someone who can project,” Rachel tried to take the book from Quinn but the wine had left her uncoordinated and bleary. She ended up missing the book and grabbing skin but Quinn didn’t seem to mind.

“You read it.” Santana handed the book to Kurt, ignoring what Rachel and Quinn were getting up to. She gave them a gentle push towards Rachel’s room and turned back to Kurt, who was watching with a frown. “Focus. I’ll get pictures later.”

“What page?” Kurt asked, knowing a losing battle when he was living it. “Spell for the Loss of Strength.” He looked up at Santana. “Seriously?”

“The one to make his teeth fall out uses way more ingredients,” she explained. “Now read.”

“It’s in Latin. Or something.” Kurt squinted at the ornate font. “Never mind. it’s just spelled wrong.” He rolled his eyes hard when Santana laughed at the unintentional pun.

“Don’t read it out loud until you know what it says. Practice silently first or it might blow up or something.” 

“Fine,” Kurt read the short verse all the way through until he could recite it from memory but he used the book anyway, just to be safe. If he was going along with this, he was at going to try to take it seriously. “Ready?” he asked, pretending not the hear anything from the direction of Rachel’s corner.

“Get on with it,” Santana snapped, picking up the ashtray. As Kurt read the incantation, she stirred the ashes into the punch bowl. When Kurt was done, she ladled some of the dark liquid into two cups and handed him one.

“To Cody. May he get a permanent case of the clap.”

“Yes!” Kurt agreed, perhaps a bit more emphatically than necessary.

They clinked glasses and drank the noxious and highly alcoholic beverage in one go.

“That was disgusting,” Santana declared. “Seconds?”

“Why not,” Kurt agreed, surrendering to the absurdity of it all. In the morning he could blame it on lack of sleep.

Meanwhile, just a few miles away, Cody’s latest conquest stroked Cody’s firm abs only to let go with a cry of disgust as they deflated with a gust of air and a high pitched whine. 

::end::


End file.
